Sorry for the long break people. I've taken my blogging activity elsewhere. I'm trying to actually have something good come out of my nonsensical rants. Please follow this link (http://producticityblog.wordpress.com) and do watch that space if you think what I'm doing is interesting.
Thanks!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Offshoring Lessons - Lesson #1: Ease of Continuity
Nomenclature is a very important part of working in a remote atmosphere. It is different when we are face to face and can point out files for each other or simply resend.
Here, we are NOT face to face. We are working from remote locations, where pointing a file out physically, or quickly asking the guy next to you what the filename is, etc. is not possible.
Therefore, the importance of something called “ease of continuity” cannot be stressed on enough. This concept refers to a way of working wherein a new person starting on an existing project will not need much explanation from the previous person who was working on it. The messages/files/campaign/adgroups/etc. will be titled/tagged in such a way that a third person will be easily able to continue your work without having to disturb you for explanations.
I try to follow this in everything I do, including data on my office computer, which is stored in such a way that I can trust someone else to carry on without me and find data on the computer easily without requiring my intervention. In other words, if I die tomorrow, the show will go on without even a quick pause...
If we can follow this in our work, we will automatically rise a notch in our offshoring skills and the way others perceive the quality of our work.
Here, we are NOT face to face. We are working from remote locations, where pointing a file out physically, or quickly asking the guy next to you what the filename is, etc. is not possible.
Therefore, the importance of something called “ease of continuity” cannot be stressed on enough. This concept refers to a way of working wherein a new person starting on an existing project will not need much explanation from the previous person who was working on it. The messages/files/campaign/adgroups/etc. will be titled/tagged in such a way that a third person will be easily able to continue your work without having to disturb you for explanations.
I try to follow this in everything I do, including data on my office computer, which is stored in such a way that I can trust someone else to carry on without me and find data on the computer easily without requiring my intervention. In other words, if I die tomorrow, the show will go on without even a quick pause...
If we can follow this in our work, we will automatically rise a notch in our offshoring skills and the way others perceive the quality of our work.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Video Streaming is the Future
Haven't had much time to come around here and update... but thought I'd just post up my recent finding - Believe it or not, commercial video streaming is the next big thing, the latest boom, the future of public communication!
It'll be like the telephone; everyone will end up having one.
Click, click, click, peek-a-boo!
It'll be like the telephone; everyone will end up having one.
Click, click, click, peek-a-boo!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Click, Click, Click, Gotcha!
A new service called Click Report has been launched that provides free click-fraud reporting. It's quite a robust system in terms of detailed reporting, keep-alive cookie checking, etc.
Check it out
ClickReport will identify that your Pay Per Click providers are billing you fairly, and your competitors aren't deliberately depleating your Pay Per Click budget.
ClickReport is perfect for any advertiser
AND they provide free live 24-hour customer support! Rocking or what!
Click, Click, Click, Gotcha!
Check it out
ClickReport will identify that your Pay Per Click providers are billing you fairly, and your competitors aren't deliberately depleating your Pay Per Click budget.
ClickReport is perfect for any advertiser
AND they provide free live 24-hour customer support! Rocking or what!
Click, Click, Click, Gotcha!
Saturday, December 2, 2006
My New Blog Spot.
Honest. My previous one was full of junk, so I started a new one. And this article is going to be a quote from something very interesting that I read on Information Week.
Online Ad Startup Aims to Automate Marketing
By Thomas Claburn
InformationWeek
Internet advertising is booming, reaching $4.2 billion for the third quarter, according to the Interactive Advertising Bureau (IAB) and PricewaterhouseCoopers. But Jim Barnett, CEO of online advertising startup Turn Inc., believes advertisers deserve better.
Advertisers want better targeting for their ads and simpler systems for managing them, Barnett contends.
Just as Google simplified search, Turn aims to simplify online advertising. Despite the fact that Google, Microsoft, and Yahoo share that goal, Turn debuted last week with over 1,000 participating advertisers and $18 million in venture funding.
Barnett believes online ad providers have to automate and move away from cost-per-click (CPC) advertising to cost-per-action (CPA).
"What if we could automate online advertising?" says Barnett. "That's really the foundation of what we've created. We call it automatic targeting simply because that was the best name we could come up with. But it's really the concept of radical simplification and blending all of these targeting methods."
Online advertising is already automated to some extent, though it's far from simple. Advertisers face a wide array of targeting methodologies that weigh different kinds of data, such as demographic, contextual, and behavioral information, to deliver the most relevant ads. For many advertisers today, initiating an online ad campaign often requires significant setup in terms of site targeting and keyword selection.
"Our vision is that advertisers should be able to come to an ad network, and regardless of their goals, regardless of the ad type they want to use, regardless of how they want to price their campaign, they should be able to do it in a one-stop shop," says Barnett.
Turn's technology blends over 60 different variables so it can target ads more efficiently than manual methods. Whether or not the system works as advertised is an issue advertisers will have to evaluate for themselves. But the company's belief in the superiority of the CPA approach over the CPC approach appears to be reasonable in light of the incidence of click fraud.
Google refers to fraudulent clicks using the more neutral term "invalid clicks," which it defines as "clicks generated by prohibited methods. Examples of invalid clicks may include repeated manual clicking or the use of robots, automated clicking tools, or other deceptive software." Typically, the aim is to inflict a cost upon the advertisers, who pay per click, and often to collect some portion of that payment by colluding with the publisher hosting the ad.
"Click fraud is manageable if correct technical defenses are in place, as most click fraud is accomplished through massive bot networks that infect PCs with malicious code," says Ryan Sherstobitoff, product technology office at security vendor Panda Software. "For advertisers such as Google and Yahoo, the problem is out of control because they can't control what the users have on their PCs. There are several schemes to trick users so they become infected such as through a phishing e-mail or through hidden injection of malicious code when visiting a Web site."
Click auditing company Click Forensics puts click fraud at just under 14% for the major search engines. Though Google insists it can handle click fraud and maintains that alarmists have a vested interest in exaggerating the problem, advertisers remain concerned that they're not getting what they've paid for.
CPA advertising is more resistant to click fraud because many of the actions advertisers may pay for, such as the sale of an item, can be verified more easily than whether a real person clicked on an ad with the intent to buy. As a consequence, many in the online ad industry, including Barnett, predict a movement toward the CPA model.
Beyond the issue of click fraud, Barnett argues that the CPC model isn't flexible enough. "There are a lot of inefficiencies in the CPC world for both advertisers and publishers," he says. "If the price for the number-one slot on a CPC network is 50 cents a click, every publisher gets 50 cents, whether or not you're a high-quality, converting publisher.
"The question is how much of the market will CPA, broadly as we define it, capture over the next two to three years," says Barnett. "That's an open question, but we think it's the future."
Online Ad Startup Aims to Automate Marketing
By Thomas Claburn
InformationWeek
Internet advertising is booming, reaching $4.2 billion for the third quarter, according to the Interactive Advertising Bureau (IAB) and PricewaterhouseCoopers. But Jim Barnett, CEO of online advertising startup Turn Inc., believes advertisers deserve better.
Advertisers want better targeting for their ads and simpler systems for managing them, Barnett contends.
Just as Google simplified search, Turn aims to simplify online advertising. Despite the fact that Google, Microsoft, and Yahoo share that goal, Turn debuted last week with over 1,000 participating advertisers and $18 million in venture funding.
Barnett believes online ad providers have to automate and move away from cost-per-click (CPC) advertising to cost-per-action (CPA).
"What if we could automate online advertising?" says Barnett. "That's really the foundation of what we've created. We call it automatic targeting simply because that was the best name we could come up with. But it's really the concept of radical simplification and blending all of these targeting methods."
Online advertising is already automated to some extent, though it's far from simple. Advertisers face a wide array of targeting methodologies that weigh different kinds of data, such as demographic, contextual, and behavioral information, to deliver the most relevant ads. For many advertisers today, initiating an online ad campaign often requires significant setup in terms of site targeting and keyword selection.
"Our vision is that advertisers should be able to come to an ad network, and regardless of their goals, regardless of the ad type they want to use, regardless of how they want to price their campaign, they should be able to do it in a one-stop shop," says Barnett.
Turn's technology blends over 60 different variables so it can target ads more efficiently than manual methods. Whether or not the system works as advertised is an issue advertisers will have to evaluate for themselves. But the company's belief in the superiority of the CPA approach over the CPC approach appears to be reasonable in light of the incidence of click fraud.
Google refers to fraudulent clicks using the more neutral term "invalid clicks," which it defines as "clicks generated by prohibited methods. Examples of invalid clicks may include repeated manual clicking or the use of robots, automated clicking tools, or other deceptive software." Typically, the aim is to inflict a cost upon the advertisers, who pay per click, and often to collect some portion of that payment by colluding with the publisher hosting the ad.
"Click fraud is manageable if correct technical defenses are in place, as most click fraud is accomplished through massive bot networks that infect PCs with malicious code," says Ryan Sherstobitoff, product technology office at security vendor Panda Software. "For advertisers such as Google and Yahoo, the problem is out of control because they can't control what the users have on their PCs. There are several schemes to trick users so they become infected such as through a phishing e-mail or through hidden injection of malicious code when visiting a Web site."
Click auditing company Click Forensics puts click fraud at just under 14% for the major search engines. Though Google insists it can handle click fraud and maintains that alarmists have a vested interest in exaggerating the problem, advertisers remain concerned that they're not getting what they've paid for.
CPA advertising is more resistant to click fraud because many of the actions advertisers may pay for, such as the sale of an item, can be verified more easily than whether a real person clicked on an ad with the intent to buy. As a consequence, many in the online ad industry, including Barnett, predict a movement toward the CPA model.
Beyond the issue of click fraud, Barnett argues that the CPC model isn't flexible enough. "There are a lot of inefficiencies in the CPC world for both advertisers and publishers," he says. "If the price for the number-one slot on a CPC network is 50 cents a click, every publisher gets 50 cents, whether or not you're a high-quality, converting publisher.
"The question is how much of the market will CPA, broadly as we define it, capture over the next two to three years," says Barnett. "That's an open question, but we think it's the future."
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Cubicle Cupid (click to download)
Unlike your favorite Mills 'n' Boons story, office romances usually start with, "Girl gets job." More like a Hadley Chase, no? I call it , “Terminator 4, Attrition Days”.
No. She isn't an international spy. She isn't a soap-actress. She's not a porn-star look alike. And no, you're not going to meet her any time soon.
Having said that, I'd like to unravel a series of events that I witnessed from my cubicle, while pretending to work on something, I pretended, was terribly serious.
Lets start at the very beginning. A pretty, tall, fair, long 'n' wavy haired, ear-ringed, sport-watched, seemingly stoned girl sheepishly walks into the office. I say sheepishly, not because she is shy or anything. Instead, it's like she's following a crowd, in the the general direction of the crowd, mouth half-open, like a goat in a herd. Ok, yes. Not sheepishly... more goatishly.
There is a wave of movement that I catch from the corner of my eye. My inbox beeps a “you've got mail” sound; the mail says, “please join me in welcoming...”. Every eye follows the bouncing bobbing hair that sheep... I mean... goatishly bobs in the general direction of the cubicle in the corner. Call me perverse, but my first thought is, “wonder if she'll agree to wear a client's branded t-shirt and walk up and down the main road for me... pay-per-prick”.
I never asked though...
*squeaky sound of fast-forward...squeakly squakly squeckley...
...sqibbly..bibbly...a photograph taken during an office meeting. Is it me, or are all the men generally staring in the direct direction of where she's standing (just outside the photo).
Responding to a dramatic increase in cases of starry-eyed gazing and spontaneous poetry from the more susceptible members of my company, I take it upon myself to issue a general health warning for hazardous levels of atmospheric romance across the office floor.
In my email, I also mentioned that early indications of romantic exposure include a flushing of the skin around the face, neck, and chest, accelerated heartbeat, rapid eyelash batting, and sighs. Left untreated, the ailment progresses rapidly, leading to aimless strolls, floral purchases, and a form of acute and regressive aphasia in which the victim's speech degenerates into that of a young child.
But it was too late.
The romance levels could not be stabilized, and several "airborne erotic events" and “acute attacks of jealousy” had broken out all around our building and surrounding restaurants.
Work suffered. Tempers flared.
I started wearing a gas mask and fem-repellent.
As all ailments, it would spread to a new area of the office, use up all the resources of that area, and when there was nothing left in the area to consume, it would evacuate that area and spread to another. The resulting remnants of the previously infected area would reek of salty-water, bad music on iPods with dying batteries, hate mail, worse sms messages, rumor rashes and high attrition rates.
Newly infected areas showed signs of preternatural courtships, outbursts of jealous quarrels among members of the same sex, overuse of deodorant, under-use of brain cells, falling levels of clothing material, increase in the time taken for lunch break, and other smelly, non-productive, waste
Before you throw your next promotion to the wind, here are five reasons dating your coworker might not be such a good idea.
1. Romance vs. Reality
Unfortunately, this is not a tale by the Brothers Grimm, so you can't count on a happy ending. You can rail against the unfairness of it all, but think of it this way: If life were fair, you wouldn't be in this dilemma, and the arrow would have pierced the heart of someone nice who works for the company across the street.
If you're smart, you will deal with the real world and anticipate plenty of bloodshed before this tale concludes. One of you may need to leave the job if things don't work out. If things do work out, one of you may have to go, because it's against company policy to date fellow employees.
2. One Promotion Later...
Let's say you become involved with someone in your department, and you receive a promotion. Now you're in a relationship with your subordinate. This opens up the possibility of blackmail. And what happens when it comes to conducting reviews and disciplining your honey? You get the picture.
3. Play It Cool
Still thinking of dating a coworker? Better start popping extra vitamins and heighten your sense of discretion. You'll need a lot of energy and concentrated effort to keep your office romance just between the two of you. And when coworkers eventually find out, you may be the subject of ridicule and suspicion:
"I can't believe he's going out with her."
"Of course he got the raise. Look who he's dating."
If you want people to focus on your professional abilities, don't give them reasons to fuel the rumor mill.
4. It's Not Just About You
You may think this is a private affair, but is it really? Logic tells you your romantic involvement will impact your coworkers directly. If you sit together in the company cafeteria, will people now feel they should give you privacy? Will they exclude you from certain conversations, because they don't know what you'll relay to your new love?
Consciously or subconsciously, your relationship may influence decisions that go well beyond a lunchroom. Your romance may color everyone's judgment with regard to promotions, projects, team building and responsibilities. The relationship could make it more difficult for your department -- and depending on your position, your company -- to operate effectively.
5. Harassment Possibilities
And then there's the "H" word and all it can entail. If your relationship ends badly, will your ex-love tell HR you were making unwanted advances? Think about how a harassment suit will impact your career. Then join a local dating service.
And while you're at it, join some professional associations. They offer many opportunities to socialize while moving your career forward.
So before you pencil in a date with your office desire, schedule dinner with some nonwork-related friends. You'd be surprised what might happen if you start nurturing your other relationships. If you spend a little more time away from the office and your coworkers, you might give Cupid a chance to improve his aim.
If you still feel your coworker is the one, what do you do? If you work for a big company, transfer to another department or facility. If that's not an option because of your profession or company size, get yourself a new job.
I intend to vote out cupid next term as being just not good for business.
And hopefully I'll develop the courage to finally pop the question. “My dear... have you considered a job in advertising? How would you like a t-shirt to start with?”
prick, prick, prick, kuching$$$!
No. She isn't an international spy. She isn't a soap-actress. She's not a porn-star look alike. And no, you're not going to meet her any time soon.
Having said that, I'd like to unravel a series of events that I witnessed from my cubicle, while pretending to work on something, I pretended, was terribly serious.
Lets start at the very beginning. A pretty, tall, fair, long 'n' wavy haired, ear-ringed, sport-watched, seemingly stoned girl sheepishly walks into the office. I say sheepishly, not because she is shy or anything. Instead, it's like she's following a crowd, in the the general direction of the crowd, mouth half-open, like a goat in a herd. Ok, yes. Not sheepishly... more goatishly.
There is a wave of movement that I catch from the corner of my eye. My inbox beeps a “you've got mail” sound; the mail says, “please join me in welcoming...”. Every eye follows the bouncing bobbing hair that sheep... I mean... goatishly bobs in the general direction of the cubicle in the corner. Call me perverse, but my first thought is, “wonder if she'll agree to wear a client's branded t-shirt and walk up and down the main road for me... pay-per-prick”.
I never asked though...
*squeaky sound of fast-forward...squeakly squakly squeckley...
...sqibbly..bibbly...a photograph taken during an office meeting. Is it me, or are all the men generally staring in the direct direction of where she's standing (just outside the photo).
Responding to a dramatic increase in cases of starry-eyed gazing and spontaneous poetry from the more susceptible members of my company, I take it upon myself to issue a general health warning for hazardous levels of atmospheric romance across the office floor.
In my email, I also mentioned that early indications of romantic exposure include a flushing of the skin around the face, neck, and chest, accelerated heartbeat, rapid eyelash batting, and sighs. Left untreated, the ailment progresses rapidly, leading to aimless strolls, floral purchases, and a form of acute and regressive aphasia in which the victim's speech degenerates into that of a young child.
But it was too late.
The romance levels could not be stabilized, and several "airborne erotic events" and “acute attacks of jealousy” had broken out all around our building and surrounding restaurants.
Work suffered. Tempers flared.
I started wearing a gas mask and fem-repellent.
As all ailments, it would spread to a new area of the office, use up all the resources of that area, and when there was nothing left in the area to consume, it would evacuate that area and spread to another. The resulting remnants of the previously infected area would reek of salty-water, bad music on iPods with dying batteries, hate mail, worse sms messages, rumor rashes and high attrition rates.
Newly infected areas showed signs of preternatural courtships, outbursts of jealous quarrels among members of the same sex, overuse of deodorant, under-use of brain cells, falling levels of clothing material, increase in the time taken for lunch break, and other smelly, non-productive, waste
Before you throw your next promotion to the wind, here are five reasons dating your coworker might not be such a good idea.
1. Romance vs. Reality
Unfortunately, this is not a tale by the Brothers Grimm, so you can't count on a happy ending. You can rail against the unfairness of it all, but think of it this way: If life were fair, you wouldn't be in this dilemma, and the arrow would have pierced the heart of someone nice who works for the company across the street.
If you're smart, you will deal with the real world and anticipate plenty of bloodshed before this tale concludes. One of you may need to leave the job if things don't work out. If things do work out, one of you may have to go, because it's against company policy to date fellow employees.
2. One Promotion Later...
Let's say you become involved with someone in your department, and you receive a promotion. Now you're in a relationship with your subordinate. This opens up the possibility of blackmail. And what happens when it comes to conducting reviews and disciplining your honey? You get the picture.
3. Play It Cool
Still thinking of dating a coworker? Better start popping extra vitamins and heighten your sense of discretion. You'll need a lot of energy and concentrated effort to keep your office romance just between the two of you. And when coworkers eventually find out, you may be the subject of ridicule and suspicion:
"I can't believe he's going out with her."
"Of course he got the raise. Look who he's dating."
If you want people to focus on your professional abilities, don't give them reasons to fuel the rumor mill.
4. It's Not Just About You
You may think this is a private affair, but is it really? Logic tells you your romantic involvement will impact your coworkers directly. If you sit together in the company cafeteria, will people now feel they should give you privacy? Will they exclude you from certain conversations, because they don't know what you'll relay to your new love?
Consciously or subconsciously, your relationship may influence decisions that go well beyond a lunchroom. Your romance may color everyone's judgment with regard to promotions, projects, team building and responsibilities. The relationship could make it more difficult for your department -- and depending on your position, your company -- to operate effectively.
5. Harassment Possibilities
And then there's the "H" word and all it can entail. If your relationship ends badly, will your ex-love tell HR you were making unwanted advances? Think about how a harassment suit will impact your career. Then join a local dating service.
And while you're at it, join some professional associations. They offer many opportunities to socialize while moving your career forward.
So before you pencil in a date with your office desire, schedule dinner with some nonwork-related friends. You'd be surprised what might happen if you start nurturing your other relationships. If you spend a little more time away from the office and your coworkers, you might give Cupid a chance to improve his aim.
If you still feel your coworker is the one, what do you do? If you work for a big company, transfer to another department or facility. If that's not an option because of your profession or company size, get yourself a new job.
I intend to vote out cupid next term as being just not good for business.
And hopefully I'll develop the courage to finally pop the question. “My dear... have you considered a job in advertising? How would you like a t-shirt to start with?”
prick, prick, prick, kuching$$$!
Sunday, November 19, 2006
All Your Base 'R' Belong to Us
"Precision marketing" is the new word that's turning heads so fast they get dizzy. Everyone wants to know what the hell it means and how it can help them.
Well, as a name, "Precision Marketing" isn't that descriptive, and so when I tell people that I am a "search solution architect" with a "precision marketing" company, people just shrug... what's worse, the job can't get me a date.
So in a last ditch effort to save my heterosexuality, I am going to once and for all put an end to the dogma. Ruff!
From the beginning of time, man (and wu type man) has wanted to know how he can get other men (and wu type men) to see his/her point of view. Whether it be spears and sharp stones or dual core penti-yummies, the secret of marketing is an old and sought after mastery of wizards through time and scape..., I mean space..
Here's an example; but please be informed that this is being performed by highly trained experts and not to be tried at home. Ah whats the use. You do it everyday anyway. You're doing it when you watch TV. You're doing it when you walk on the street. Heck, you're doing it even now. What is it you may ask. Well, elementary my dear gullible. You're assimilating, processing and compartmentalizing millions and millions of mega bytes of information. I call this process the "BARF" (Basic Assimilation, Retention and Feel-Good) process.
And there are a common species of humans who wear elongated strips of cloth around their necks and use TP to clean the animal skin on their feet, who depend completely on the BARF process, so they may feed their families, pay for medical emergencies and the like... well, not really; they just like to hoard. But hey, atleast they're not breaking the law, or bones, or the space-time equilibrium.
No sir. They are simply working in teams of thousands from their sky scraping ant-hills so as to be more effective at their BARFing. The better their BARF, the more they can hoard.
They willingly redirect monstrously large amount of money and other goodies at anyone who can improve their BARFing capabilities. But there's a problem. I'm in the BARF for a t-shirt. But they're BARFing on about roller skates. I'm in the BARF for south Indian special coffee powder, but they're BARFing on about aqua minerale. I'm in the BARF for a suit, but they're... well, you get the point.
And while they lose valuable time, money and energy on BARFing, neither we or they meet the way we're supposed to. They're always being too presumptuous, or they're being lame. Either way, they're way off timing.
But there are big BARFers, and there bigger BARFers, and there is us. Who are we? We're the cunning breed of anti-neck-cloth-strips. We are single, heterosexual, good-looking, permanently horny, underpaid, emaciated linguists. We are the A.S.S.es (Architects of Search Solutions)
And we're going to take over the world.
Imagine, BARFers, being able to match, time and serve your BARFings exactly according to, during and for when someone is in the BARF process. The timing is perfect, the cost negligible and the process fool-proof. What more could any BARFer want. The precise, well-targeted BARF... otherwise known as ... “Precision Marketing”.
Not “Precision Marketing” your company already? You'll most likely either be doing it soon, or retiring as a farm hand, desperately seeking solace in a tribal village that's not on any map, while the banks send out their killer-drones in search of you.
Muhuhuahahaha!
All your base 'R' belong... to us!
Click, click, click, barf!
Well, as a name, "Precision Marketing" isn't that descriptive, and so when I tell people that I am a "search solution architect" with a "precision marketing" company, people just shrug... what's worse, the job can't get me a date.
So in a last ditch effort to save my heterosexuality, I am going to once and for all put an end to the dogma. Ruff!
From the beginning of time, man (and wu type man) has wanted to know how he can get other men (and wu type men) to see his/her point of view. Whether it be spears and sharp stones or dual core penti-yummies, the secret of marketing is an old and sought after mastery of wizards through time and scape..., I mean space..
Here's an example; but please be informed that this is being performed by highly trained experts and not to be tried at home. Ah whats the use. You do it everyday anyway. You're doing it when you watch TV. You're doing it when you walk on the street. Heck, you're doing it even now. What is it you may ask. Well, elementary my dear gullible. You're assimilating, processing and compartmentalizing millions and millions of mega bytes of information. I call this process the "BARF" (Basic Assimilation, Retention and Feel-Good) process.
And there are a common species of humans who wear elongated strips of cloth around their necks and use TP to clean the animal skin on their feet, who depend completely on the BARF process, so they may feed their families, pay for medical emergencies and the like... well, not really; they just like to hoard. But hey, atleast they're not breaking the law, or bones, or the space-time equilibrium.
No sir. They are simply working in teams of thousands from their sky scraping ant-hills so as to be more effective at their BARFing. The better their BARF, the more they can hoard.
They willingly redirect monstrously large amount of money and other goodies at anyone who can improve their BARFing capabilities. But there's a problem. I'm in the BARF for a t-shirt. But they're BARFing on about roller skates. I'm in the BARF for south Indian special coffee powder, but they're BARFing on about aqua minerale. I'm in the BARF for a suit, but they're... well, you get the point.
And while they lose valuable time, money and energy on BARFing, neither we or they meet the way we're supposed to. They're always being too presumptuous, or they're being lame. Either way, they're way off timing.
But there are big BARFers, and there bigger BARFers, and there is us. Who are we? We're the cunning breed of anti-neck-cloth-strips. We are single, heterosexual, good-looking, permanently horny, underpaid, emaciated linguists. We are the A.S.S.es (Architects of Search Solutions)
And we're going to take over the world.
Imagine, BARFers, being able to match, time and serve your BARFings exactly according to, during and for when someone is in the BARF process. The timing is perfect, the cost negligible and the process fool-proof. What more could any BARFer want. The precise, well-targeted BARF... otherwise known as ... “Precision Marketing”.
Not “Precision Marketing” your company already? You'll most likely either be doing it soon, or retiring as a farm hand, desperately seeking solace in a tribal village that's not on any map, while the banks send out their killer-drones in search of you.
Muhuhuahahaha!
All your base 'R' belong... to us!
Click, click, click, barf!
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